Assalamu’alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. If you have read the first 2 parts thanks for sticking with me. I have always found it hard to talk to anyone regarding my Islam and spirituality so this is the channel I opted for. Writing this out has been very cathartic and has cemented my heart in my newfound deen. Inshallah this can also benefit anyone that may need it.
So, my story comes to the present. In terms of my Deen, I was reading my 5 prayers a day. I was learning about Islam and the spiritual side of the religion through various books. I had decided to concentrate on two things at this stage: Dua and Quran.
I wanted to focus on my Duas as usually, once I finish praying, I would just read out a default dua without really feeling it or focusing on what I’m actually asking for. So this time, I wanted to actually ask Allah for something and wait to see how it would or wouldn’t come to me.
In some ways, I guess you could say, I had the audacity to test my creator to see if he really was listening to me and my prayers. I later realised I was completely in the wrong for this and basically made me no different to those that want there to be physical proof in front of their eyes for the existence of god. But alhumdulillah what happened strengthened my Imaan even more.
I read about the night prayer called Tahajud. I read why this was important and you could basically use this prayer to ask Allah for anything and the creator will grant you that thing in one way or another. Another thing I learned about was to offer a dua whilst in sujood so I put both of these in practice.
For the dua in sujood, I didn’t want ask for something silly like millions of pounds. I wanted to ask for something tangible that would benefit me and my family. One morning, I had to drive to pick up my family from the in laws house. This was a 4 hour round journey and on the day, there was heavy rain forecasted for the whole day. Now I’m very very nervous in driving in the rain on the motorway, especially when my kids are in the car and I was very nervous about this drive.
So after I preformed the Fajr prayer that morning, I prostrated and did my Dua and asked Allah to make the journey easy and safe for me and my family and to allow us to return home peacefully and safely. I then left the house in the pouring rain and drove to pick up my family.
The drive to my in laws lasted 2 hours and had heavy rain all the way there but alhumdulillah I got there safe and sound. Coming back, I had my kids and my wife in the car and this is what I was most nervous about.
Alhumdulillah, the drive home, did have some rain but nothing heavy. In fact, the sun was out and from my view in the drivers seat, you could see very dark grey clouds all around me, but looking up was nothing but sunshine and blue skies. We got home safe and sound and hardly even had to use the window wipers. The amount of times my eyes welled with tears on the drive home as I realised my lord had answered my prayer, it was a wonder no one in the car noticed!
The next one was the Tahajud prayer. I wasn’t sure the best time to do this or what to ask for but the time came when my mother in law was admitted to hospital. The doctors weren’t sure what the issue was but as she had heart problems recently, everyone was worried for the worst. That night I stayed up and read my Tahajud prayer and after I did my dua and asked Allah to return my mother in law to full health and back home.
Just like clockwork, alhumdulillah, the next day, the doctors confirmed the diagnosis, my mother in law was feeling better and she was discharged. Yes anyone can say both of these examples were just good timing and coincidences. Maybe I’m just reading too much into these instances. But in my heart, In my mind, I have no doubt. I had the shameful need to test my lord and he showed me his power and presence.
My main takeaway from the above is that even after my lifetime of sinning and shunning my lord, even after testing him to answer my duas like an ungrateful, spoilt child; he still did. He waited for me, called me back, answered my duas despite my complete arrogance and ignorance. Our creator leaves no one behind and if your heart and mind is sincere, inshallah you will find him. Like I said before, we were always taught to fear him. But we also need to love him.
After this my focus shifted to the Quran. I wanted to learn what I was reading and the hidden miracles of the words. Alhumdulillah I started reading Quran every day after Fajr prayer and I still do to this day. In tandem I have also started learning about certain Arabic words and what they mean so when I read the Quran and come across a word I recognise, I have a better understanding of what is being recited.
My relationship with the Quran has always been on and off. I love reading it. I never want to stop. But I never knew what I was reciting and there was a disconnect there. I started to watch YouTube videos on Tajweed first. My daughter has a colour coded Quran so the first thing I did was to ensure I was reciting correctly. Then I started reading English translations of the 5 daily prayers so now when I pray my salat, I actually know what I’m saying as I read. That one really is a game changer!
I am much more connected now to the Quran and feel a peace like no other when I recite from it. My morning routine went from snoozing countless alarms until my wife or my kids force me to get up to getting up before anyone else, reading Fajr and then the Quran. Alhumdulillah!
One thing I haven’t talked about is my prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and the sunnah of his that I also started following. But as this one has run long enough, inshallah I will go over that in part 4. Thanks for reading and peace be upon you always. Until next time…